AUSTIN, TEXAS - Despite pleas for clemency, Texas Governor Rick Perry has ordered that the execution of commission members investigating whether Texas executed an innocent man should proceed as scheduled. An official statement from the governor's office read, "The Governor believes that in the interest of protecting the sacred institution of capital punishment, Texas is best served by executing commission members before they can begin their work."

The statement from Governor Perry's office also read, "It is the policy of Governor Perry to only execute guilty persons. Since the party in question was executed several ago, there can be no question about his guilt. The very act of execution removed all doubt concerning guilt or innocence."

The Texas Forensic Science Commission was investigating the case of Cameron Willingham, convicted of murder by arson. Following his conviction and death sentence, numerous forensic arson experts called into question the "so-called" experts employed by the prosecution. The prosecution's lead expert, Arsenio Embers, lists chief among his qualifications as having "watched every episode of CSI and it's spin-offs at least twice."

Testimony given by Mr. Embers during the trial claimed Willingham was known to have a gas can in his garage near the lawn mower and lighter fluid in the vicinity of a barbecue grill. "Obviously," testified Embers, "this person was obsessed with flammable liquids, or as we professionals like to say, inflammable liquids."

Nationally known arson expert, Bernie Don-DeHouse, said Embers is a "smoldering idiot" who can't tell arson from his ash can. "This Embers guy thinks every case is arson. He testified once that a tree struck by lightning was arson. They convicted God in absentia, but I think in the larger scheme of things, it wasn't a wise move."